First Encounters with R. Nahman of Breslov
Many years ago, I took a class on confluent education, taught by Rabbi Bill Cutter. It was one of the most non-linear – and fascinating – classes I’ve ever taken. The required reading included educational theory, a book on animal training and teachings by R. Nahman of Breslov. This was actually my introduction to R. Nahman; at that time, Hasidic masters were not part of the curriculum in my rabbinical school.
The class came exactly at the right time. I was in my mid-20’s and desperately trying to figure out what this life is about. I was newly broken-hearted after the end of a significant relationship. I was struggling with my internships and my emerging identity as a rabbi. I wondered where God was in all the mess, the mess of my life and the mess of the world.
Enter R. Nahman. He opened up the world of Lurianic Kabbalah for me, another missing part of my rabbinical school curriculum. In the beginning, he taught, God took the form of infinite light. When God decided to create the world, there was no space for the world because everything was divine light. So God contracted, and pulled the light to the sides in order to create an empty space in which the world could exist. God created vessels to hold the light, but the light was too strong and the vessels shattered, spreading sparks of divine light everywhere, as well as fragments of the vessels. This shattering is what brought suffering and imbalance into the world.
I loved this. I sensed this was a myth that touched a deep truth: the divine light, the shattering, the fragments of vessels. This was a teaching that didn’t ignore suffering, but also didn’t offer facile explanations. It was mysterious and at the same time, felt deeply satisfying. And I loved the questions it raises: Does the existence of world somehow depend on the absence of God? How can there be a space without God? What causes the shattering? What do we do with our own brokenness in a world that is filled with hidden divine sparks?
R. Nahman loved those questions too. In his own non-linear, highly associative, poetic way, he fearlessly jumped in to offer surprising and original insights into the wisest ways to approach the unanswerable questions and the conflicts that cannot be resolved. His teachings comforted me, inspired me, helped me make space for the things I will never truly understand.
Fast forward a couple of decades. I started a hevruta, a study partner relationship, with Rabbi David Jaffe. For the past ten years, we have been studying R. Nahman on a weekly basis. My appreciation of his brilliance, compassion and insight has only grown.
Beginning next week, I will offer a class in which we will explore that teaching that I first encountered as a confused and unhappy rabbinical student. If you too are looking for meaning and comfort in this chaotic world or wondering why there is so much suffering and conflict and where God is in all of it, you might want to join us. Information about the class is here.
As the Tishrei holidays draw to an end, I want to thank you all for traveling these paths together and wish you a new year of joy, fulfillment and connection.